There, now I’ve got your attention.
As part of my loose effort to write something every day this year, I’m reflecting on my experience playing Bioshock Infinite in a single game session while I was sick, on the first day of 2014 (Yes, I have a huge pile of shame full of acclaimed games I’ve not played.)
There will be massive spoilers.
Now, I want you to know that this is just my opinion, coloured by my perspectives and whatnot. This doesn’t invalidate your own experience, or your own personal opinions about how amazing this game is. Do we understand each other?
Good. So now let me explain why you are wrong to like this bad game.
Warning: This post assumes a passing familiarity with the Halo series, and is indiscriminately spoilerrific so that I can discuss this in as straightforward a manner as possible. In addition, it was written with angry eyes on, and may contain occasional swears like ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’ and ‘bastards’. It is also very long.
Disclaimer: I played the campaign through one and a half times before I had to return the rental game, so if I missed some stuff that explains or nullifies my angry complaints, please demolish my argument in the comments. I will graciously accept any and all mistakes I have made. Note that if you attack me personally for wearing a silly hat or something equally clever like how I can’t write, then it will be clear you have chosen the easy path instead of countering my argument, and I will ignore you.
And yes, I will be buying Halo 4 (and 5, and 6) later. I’m both a completist and masochist. I’ll also be replaying the Halo series with my daughter, starting with the Anniversary Edition, so hopefully some of these answers will be made clear to me. What they did with the Forerunners in Halo 4 can’t be undone, though, I fear.
So let’s get into it, with our first question from this handy straw man fanboi I had lying around.